empty nest with extra problems

[edith jones]

I raised 4 children (i am a single mom)
my youngest is away at school working on her Masters

my oldest son lives here in the same state that i do

the other two older children do not

i was living with my oldest son for three years.
i tried with all all my might to not make any problems
my daughter inlaw started having problems with me
i offered her for us to go to counseling she went once and would not go any longer

i lived with them because they have grand kids that i would see everyday
which got rid of my empty nest fellings

she started not letting me see the grandbabies....
so about a month ago she told me not to say any thing to the grandbabies
my son agreed since his wife was incharge of the children

i tried to commit sucide at that point right there that day

which made everything worse...

i was hooked up to a breathing machine for about three days
i started breathing on my own

the hospital sent me to a psych ward

when i came home ... my son told me i had to leave.... the same day that i came home
i was home less for a while

i now live in a lonely apartment

i feel very guilty that i put my children through the sucide incident...
and did not die......

and what little family contact i had i now do not have because i am not allowed to go near the grand children

i feel bad for me
i feel bad for my son
i feel bad for my other children

i feel bad for my grand children

i can not talk to my children any more because it keeps
me in a place where there is so much pain.

i never felt love growing up ..and my mother abused me any way you could imagine


i feel so bad...i feel i n eed to fix my children for their possible pain

but still no one cares or feel for my pain which drove me to the sucide atempt in the first place

i

[Dawn]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am going through something similar. My daughter has kept me from my grand kids and i can't understand why. Finally I surendered to God! I know it sounds crazy but God has separated you from your children so you can follow where he leads. I didn't try sucide but I did not eat and got really sick. It didn't change anything. I needed to give it to God and I did and that moment changed my life. I pray that God will work in your life and that you will find peace. Remember sucide is not the answer God has a reason you are here find out what it is don't surrender to satan what God intends for good.
God's Blessing

[edith jones]

thank you for feeling for me...


i really wanted to die ....

as a single parent ... i raised by children ..... and they now have there own lives
which is what any parent want for their children.


i am feeling very very punished, tortured,,,
i am so mixed up right now..

though i was a single parent i was happy raising my children..it was like that was what God put me here on earth for .... to be a mommy

as they grew and started having children of their own i thought that they
would share their children with me....that i could recapture some of the happinest
that i lost when they became young adults.

since the sucide attempt i am not allowed to see my grand children at all

i do not understand why...

i am to afraid to discuss the situation with my son and his wife because
of what they may say to me...

that they may hurt me even more

i can not take any more pain...no more pain

so i do not respond to any telephone calls, from any of them (my children)

as i have heard, i must find my much needed support from outsiders,,

well
thank you again for caring enough to respond to my email

[CAA]

I am so sorry to hear about this....it must be awfully lonely...but one thing that I have learned is that if we are not healthy we cannot help others. I know it must be hard...but can you think of just one thing a day that you can do that would help yourself...Reading? Talking with others here or in person? You cannot take away the pain of your children...they too must go to their Heavenly Father and ask for help...we all must. I have a son who is an alcoholic and I want to help in so bad...but I must keep myself healthy and for now that is to stay back a bit...maybe that is what you need to do....dont be so hard on yourself....Lift up your eyes to the Lord. Hang in there....Dont give up...things will work out for your good. I have a friend who did not see her 6 children for at least 2 years...now they wont leave her alone...God has a way of working things out....Pray and wait...God Bless you!

[edith jones]

thank you for feeling for me...


i really wanted to die ....

as a single parent ... i raised by children ..... and they now have there own lives
which is what any parent want for their children.


i am feeling very very punished, tortured,,,
i am so mixed up right now..

though i was a single parent i was happy raising my children..it was like that was what God put me here on earth for .... to be a mommy

as they grew and started having children of their own i thought that they
would share their children with me....that i could recapture some of the happinest
that i lost when they became young adults.

since the sucide attempt i am not allowed to see my grand children at all

i do not understand why...

i am to afraid to discuss the situation with my son and his wife because
of what they may say to me...

that they may hurt me even more

i can not take any more pain...no more pain

so i do not respond to any telephone calls, from any of them (my children)

as i have heard, i must find my much needed support from outsiders,,

well
thank you again for caring enough to respond to my email

[kathy]

Hi Edith, How are you today? Yes you do need other people and I would like to offer a listening ear and heart yo you. I too feel sorry for the pain you are in. Ignoring your feelings won't improve them or make them go away. You need to talk (or type) it out. I will keep you in my prayers.