Feeling like I don't belong anywhere

[Marie]

I feel like I am constantly riding the waves on the sea. There is no consistancy of emotion in a day. Just when I start to feel confortable or relaxed, Wham! something happens and I am back down again. Where is my faith? God has to be tired of me not having enough faith to see it's going to be okay. What happened to that? I feel sorry for people around me and my moodiness. Medication seems to keep it barely tolerable. I realize there are numerous events of the past 2 years that have worn me down to this level, but how do I get back up and stay up? Continually hiding the turmoil inside is wearing thin.

[Overcoming]

it's not your faith that is lacking but rather the art of learning to "manage your emotions"

I say this from experience. God never gets "tired of people"

[scott]

Maria, I am sorry your having a hard time with the waves of life. Waht helps me is reading his word and talking to friends to
help me see what God is doing in my life... Do you have friends you cna talk too? Do you have a suport group you cna go to? You need other people in your life to help you when things go bad...We need Christain community and a realtionship with God to help us in the dark times...and have hope for the future. I hope that helps alittle

God bless Scott

[JAG]

Marie, God's love will never cease. He said, He will never leave you nor forsake you.

I can relate to your inconsistancy of emotions. It is trying on most days.

For me, I believe something is missing and my spirit has accepted a lie from the enemy.

Instead of dragging it out, so much, I get on my knees or bow my head and ask God's forgiveness, to help me where I am, to put someone or something in my path for guidance.

Now, that will change depending on what is happening. However, the main thing is to know God knows what you are going through and it is to us to believe, regardless.

No easy method, no easy answer...one day at a time.

That's the short of it.

You are in my prayers

[Marie]

Thank you for your responses. It means so much to hear from each of you and know you're praying for me. I would love to attend a New Life Weekend, but it is not possible this year. Maybe God will open the doors for me to go next year. We'll see.

[Carla M.]

Hi Scott, and I admire your honesty. I too have battled some depression and too take medication daily. For me too, I need to make a conscious effort to turn my will over daily to God. As soon as I am irritable and unreasonable, I know I have taken the driver seat....not a good place for me to be spiritually...Staying in the word and reaching out to my support system certainly helps tremendously. For me i tend to isolate in difficult times and that is not good for anyone,right?? So I found this site, and it has truly helped me, as long as I allow it to. Participating,reading,sharing...Keeps me out of my head and right with God. Thanks again for sharing ~ Carla

[sarah]

I too suffer with similar feelings, I feel like I don't belong anywhere, I believe it was because I was rejected from my family and now whenever I go anywhere I feel like people will reject me and I become paranoid that people don't like me. What I am trying to do now is gain comfort in knowing that God is always with me and He will never let me down or push me away. We must belong somewhere because God made us, he has a purpose in our lives and people that he wants us to connect to.
God knows your feelings and he will meet your needs. I am taking anti-depressents and I also go to celebrate recovery meetings, I find that that helps, when I begin feeling good and positive, the devil always tries to knock me back down again. It always happens, I expect it to happen now and I prepare myself, I be strong and I tell myself that the devil uses people and situations to knock us down and try to make us think that God isn't with us and our friends and families don't support us. It is the devil and we let him take over us. The more that I came to realize that and change my way of thinking, the stronger I have become and able to get back up again.
I am praying for you all.

[Laura]

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for a couple of years now. One thing I've just recently discovered is that we humans have different life purposes daily and sometimes even hourly. We often think we have to have some huge purpose in life. Well, guess what, my dad, in a nursing home losing his sensibilities, must have a purpose that's changed over the years. His purpose for many years was to be a good husband and father and role model for his family and community. After my mom died and we kids grew up, his purpose changed to making a life for himself that had value and meaning. That included taking up hobbies he didn't have time to do when he was younger. It meant going on mission trips because he could afford to and had the free time in retirement. Now his purpose tends to be much more simple, such as enjoying God's creation. When he watches the birds outside, he's fulfilling that purpose. When he's kind or caring to the staff or other residents, he's fulfilling the purpose God gave him of loving others. When he gets up every day and gets dressed and eats meals and participates in silly nursing home activities, all the while aware that he's unable to physically and mentally do what he used to be able to do, he's fulfilling God's purpose for him that day.

My purpose lately, since the children are getting more independent, is to get up each day and take care of myself and my depression. That means I am getting exercise, even if it's just a walk around the block, calling or connecting with someone (even when I don't want to - it always ends up being a blessing to me) and trying to find some way to serve someone else.

Believe me, these are not easy. Satan continually tries to convince me that I'm wasting my time, that I should just give up on life, that no one cares about me, that there is no joy in today or tomorrow. But I can honestly say that I MUST do what I MUST do to handle my depression. There are no alternatives because God's purpose for me is not for me to be in bed all day feeling sad (though I do take time to do that too, I just have learned to limit it to 30 minutes at a time).

My bible verse for today was, once again, eye opening for me. Isaiah 45:5, "I AM the Lord, and there is no other. Besides Me there is no God. I will gird you though you have not known Me." His promise is to gird (uphold) me (and you) even when I don't acknowledge Him, don't seek Him, don't trust Him, don't spend time with Him, and don't feel like He's there. God bless you all.

[Pauline N.]

Hello,
I completely understand what you're feeling. You are not alone. I struggle with faith in God all the time because my earthly father didn't show any kind of stability with us. For example...I've been trusting God for a new car. I've been praying and fasting just about everyday or every other but haven't gotten a car yet. One minute I believe He can do it for me and the next I'm questioning whether He will REALY do it for me. Take heart. Know that He's there with you. He knows you more than you know yourself. The verse that always help is Phil 4:19. I meditate on it every chance I get. Hope this was helpful.

[holly a joyner]

lfe is like that full of ups and downs because of sin it is from the beggining at adam and eve some high moments and seems like many dull moments but God is our refuge and hiding placewhom we can trust for his word dosnt return void he is also ourpresent help in times of trouble he says that he will never leave us or forsake us he says that even in the pits of hell he still can hear us and know where we are he says call on him and he will answer us even when life seems hard and itseems as if we are falling and never seeming to get back up it is then the lord says he is our strenth in our weakness he is made stong if it wasn't for the stormsof life we would never increase our faith for the bible says everyone is delt a measure of faith but it is threw trials which make us stronger so hang in there and tug on jesus robe for he has redeemed us and restored us from what the enemy has stoled from us take the faith you have and hold on its a bumpy road .