Grief

[Jacki]

Wondering ,what you think of the question to God-"WHY?" examples-why do bad things have to good people?

[Writing2Heal]

I think that we ask these questions for our own healing. We don't always get the answers, but somehow just voicing them helps us. I remember not long ago laying in my bed, crying out to God "Why me? Why did you let these things happen to me God? Why did you allow so much hurt and pain in my life when you knew it would bring me to this awful depression?"

Do you want to know what His answer was? "Because I can use it for my glory. Because it is making you rely more on me. Because I am going to do something that makes people say 'Wow, God you are awesome.'" And you know what? I believe Him.

Ask the questions in your heart. Listen for the answers, but remember that the answers may not be what you thought they would be. Sending hugs and prayers your way. God bless you Jacki.

[Jacki]

thanks so much writing2heal for your reply-- you are so right ask the questions in your heart God is way cool with asking then Listen (sometimes hard easier to just vent) then accept the mystery of it all which of course seems to be the hardest for me thanks for the hugs and prayers -sending the same to you along with an appreciation for your writings nice to see believers using their talents for good enjoy the day jacki

[debbi doo]

Well, when this question of why is personalized in my life, fortunately it more quickly now moves beyond that to "how"? I think this has me, or shows me that I am more actively engaged in the "adventure"with Him. But maybe "why" can be a way of wrestling with Him ,like Jacob? Sometimes I am more prone to just resign and melt into my surroundings instead. I am certain He would rather have a wrestling buddy! An example of the "why"vs. "how" in my life follows:

I clearly recall lying on a cold steel table in the ER in great pain with a dislocated hip, all alone, nobody knowing I was there and not able to think of who might even respond if I called someone... and I dared to say "Lord, show me how you are with me here now on this cold steel table where I seem to be just all alone". And I think He is still very much in the process of showing me His realness and closeness now 5 years down the road. He is working at getting me in tune with Him. But if I push back with "why", for me the attitude would have reflected my disappointment in Him not going according to my expectations. ( Hey, do we hear Steve talking now about attitudes of arrogant entitlement and resentments??!) Reality is, I was beyond disappointed... try shocked and helpless...oh, maybe this is where I need to be taken!?

[Christian 01]

Bad things happen because this is a bad world. It reads rather doom day-ish. But people don't want to see that badness/evil exists in this world. The badness/inherent sin, we each have within us. Can we honestly look to ourselves as part of the blame? In order to accept Christ we have to admit we are unworthy and broken? We need His help.

There is the idea that it won't touch us, because we are christian aka/good. Not true. As there is alot of good, there is alot of evil. if we close our eyes too it, it will come at us. Christ never said it would be easy. As a matter of fact, he said it would be very hard. He suffered and died on the cross. He asks us to take up ours and walk with him.

The; For the Glory of God thing to me seems harsh. God doesn't need us to show his glory. He is already glory. How do you tell a parent that just lost there child or a child that just lost there parent that this is for Gods Glory? I couldn't. It seems cruel to me that God would allow pain, loss and suffering to make Him look the good HE already does. Kind of like an insecure friend using my fatness to make themself look better? I don't believe that. Sorry but for some reason that struck me as cruel. There must be another way of deciphering that.

The light is; We are not alone through these bad times, He is here with us. He cries with us during these harsh and terrible times. The hope is that through Christ not me this world can get better. That HE will always persevere, so that we can all join Him in Heaven. As a child of an abusive home I don't look to the why it happened. I look to the how. Always human hands are involved in tragedy. Even Cancer. Human beings making mistakes, not doing as we should. No allowing the Grace of God Himself to help us.

God Bless~~

[Nancy Meister]

Kathy Trocolli sings a song "How Would I Know". It is a song that I use in my music ministry and it has helped me come to grips with some of the grief that I have had to deal with over the past 2 years. (My son was killed in a car accident) The song talks about sometimes needing God to put us through some very uncomfortable and bad things in our lives...otherwise we could not know or appreciate his goodness. I know that sounds easier said than done sometimes...
I often find myself searching for answers and finding them in my music....I think it is during those times that God chooses to speak to me.

I have also dealt with the "Whys" over my sons death....he was a good Christian boy, who had a wonderful life ahead of him...and I look around at all the crime in the world...drug dealers, murderers and I ask why my Marky? Why my boy? and then I think....maybe God took Mark because he was ready...maybe those other people needed a second chance.

[L.Sabia]

our first grandchild, a granddaughter was stillborn on July 10. All was well and our daughter had never been happier. Now she is very sad, angry, disappointed and surrounded by others at work, who are pregnant.
I pray for her to heal. It hurts to see her depressed. I tell her to trust God, but she is still too upset.
The baby's due date is now in August. Please say a prayer for Lori and her husband Kerry.

[Stephen C]

I think that its normal to ask the question "Why" when we are grieving. I know personally that when a member of my family has died, I often go through a time of questioning, and a struggle in my faith. I guess we have to remember that the answer to the question "Why" is that we live in a world that has been tarnished by sin. The world continues to groan and await the day when God will make all things right and all things new. In heaven, there will be no "Why", just peace.

[lisa saunders]

Jesus, paid our price to free us from our Sin. It took a good act to counter a bad thing..Sin. It is a dangerous thing for us. For the wages of Sin ..is death. God sent his Son, to die for us. That is the ultimate, (for me) I felt that..(or God let me feel a little of what He felt ..when my husband died) The scripture, came alive for me; I saw Jesus's face as my husband lay dying, no one could help, and I had been given 7 years to try to change our lives, since I was the praticing saved christian. I had failed, (miserably) I felt like he (my husband) was being sacrificed for my Sin..(like I had not done anything for 7 years to help him..like pray,beg, plead,cry....to bring him to Christ, to bring him out of alcoholism, to set him up in business..to bring him to counsleor, to get him medical help..etc...All those years, just rolled by in a few moments with no way to stop the grinding wheels that would slam shut the gates; he was passing through; nothing I could do any more would stop the process. (omg, what have we done!) was it him..was it me...was it everyone else who watched? Had I done enough..why was I so exhausted..get up..do more......God help me..and I learned God lets us try it our way...it does not always work out, the way we think..but then we run, and run..until we run out of our ways ....He (God) steps in to save us..even tho we do not see it that way at the Time.

[HAROLD HOFMAN]

bottom line I have learned (still apparently still learning), grief is a good thing, it appears to disapates the pain, and if infact we can hopefully move on then it is going to be an issue of good pain vs. bad pain .........the only question I have is why the healing takes so long .........also, is anyone living in southern Oregon is engaged on this site I truely hope to connect to 'more' hopefull/spiritual indivuals soon, esp since moving from Utah recently
HARRY

[lisa saunders]

I believe the WHY..is....us..learning, it takes different strokes for different folks. Some take a long time to let go. Some do not want to let go. It depends what we cling too. Either the person that passed, or a way of life and part of our personality that was ours when they were alive. I was used to myself and my lifestyle when the other person accompanied me ten years, and did not want things to change; I had built a life extending from our life. I now have returned to where I was before the ten years, and I feel like I am having to get to know myself all over: that is a tiresome chore for my brain. I want to go forward and I'am being called to reflect,I felt it was a waste of my time. When in fact it was called healing.Sometimes we fight the things that will help us; because God knows better what will heal us, and He may be training us for our next lifestyle or position without our knowledge. Just listen to His music, read His words, He will take you there.Sing Praise..in Jesus name Amen