I feel like I am going to die

[Melody]

Has anyone ever cried so hard that it felt like they were going to stop breathing? I am trying not to do this but it is either cry or shake all over franticly.

[Dayle]

Yes Melody...
You are not alone. You are feeling broken and it is natural for your body to respond this way. Anxiety combined with grief can make you feel quite out of control. You seem to have so much going on in your life...anyone would be overwhelmed. It is good to cry. It is a release that is desperately needed. I have gone through many overwhelming periods of time in my life. It is so important to break things down....look at what you can do something about, and set aside that which you can't. There really is a solution for every problem. There will always be certain things that we have no control over and we can gently place those things in God's hands. Place Jesus at the center of your life....when you are feeling overwhelmed, stop, close your eyes, breathe, and visualize Jesus standing right there in front of you. He will help you keep things in perspective.

It is imperitive to not isolate yourself. I didn't have family support or others to turn to who could truly understand but I learned to reach out in the community. There were times I would bake something and stop by a nursing home just to brighten someones day, and find perspective. God always sends someone your way to speak to your heart. This blog is awesome...you are never alone. If you don't have a church, visit one. God will provide a friend. You have to take care of yourself or you could develop a serious anxiety/panic disorder. When we cry out to God, he never fails us. If you feel that you cannot get a grasp on things, speak with your doctor. I used to take a tiny dose of anxiety med to help with panic attacks. It is most important to learn to breathe and calm yourself so the stress doesn't build up.

I wish I could give you a hug....remember that this is but a vapor of time...it will get better. Focus on the little things...think about what you are grateful for in your life, not what you don't have. Surround yourself with little things that bring a smile to you...little bits of beauty...little pleasures...things that inspire and encourage you. You need to lessen the anxiety. Talk with God all through the day...let Him know how you are feeling. Tell Him what you are grateful for. Ask Him to give you clarity and show you what you need to learn. Let Him love you!

There are no magic answers...it's all part of the journey. With Jesus, we can learn to travel well!
I am praying for you.....~love, dayle :)

[CAA]

Let the tears out.....yes I have cried that hard...let it out...do not hold it back....Jesus will keep your tears in a bottle...He is crying with you and loves you.....Have you tried counselling? I go every other week for years...would not be without it...and mine is a Christian counsellor...I am praying for you...God Bless, CAA

[Sing Praises]

Yes yes yes. I cry just about every day. My depression is related to infertility. Unless one has been through this, one does not understand. I get all the "solutions" thrown at me from those very, very few with whom I have shared, save my mom and a good friend. "Oh just take a vacation". "Oh you need to relax." etc. For 7 years we have cried out to God. I eat well, exercise almost every day, and try to reduce stress in my life. But God is obviously saying no to us. I feel like dying - cannot see myself as childless. I have been told that this will become my testimony, but I cannot see that happening because it is so private and I feel so isolated. It is shameful not to have children like everyone else who is "normal". My husband's family has not been told, but they obviously suspect. No compassion - so I will not discuss with them what I have been through in terms of IUI, numerous IVF attempts, ovarian ectopic pregnancy, and $40,000 worth of drugs. Yes, I do understand you crying until you feel like nothing more will come out, and your face is tired from crying and sobbing. How about I pray for you and you pray for me? I think it is the best thing we can do for each other. I pray the Lord's blessing on your day today. Bless your heart Melody.

[Model38]

YES!!!! I am there now!! I was in a relationship for the last 8 months and my boyfriend just left!! I didn't know anything. He actually left town. Then when I finally talked to him, he basically blamed me and said that he was coming back but that's been a month ago. Then I found out that he had been communicating with another woman. I loved this man dearly and we planned on being married. This happened July 3rd and I still find myself crying. I have been praying and asking God to take this man out of my heart, I don't know how long I am going to feel like this. I know I have to move on with my life and I am trying to do so but it is hard. We were both Christians but we fell into temptation and we did some things we should not have (hint: fornication). Since this has happened, I have repented and re-dedicated my life to Christ. I have good days and I have bad days....but I am just ready for this to be all over!! I have not talked to him in a few weeks, but when your hopes have been in someone and they come crashing down...WOW!! We spent all our time together, we prayed together, he was an overall good guy. Yes, when this first happened I cried so much that I started hyperventilating....I don't cry like that now but I still cry.

[Marti Espinoza]

Hello! my name is Marti, I am sorry for this typing but I'm at work ritght now and I just want to share with you a little of what I have been going through for the past 6 years, and I hope and pray that this will give you some hope and motivation in life!

I was married for 22 years, member of a foursquare church my husband is a minister of that church, we had three cute boys, now 22, 21 and 18. My 22 at age 17 1/2 son unexpected became my prodigal, just imagine seing your son's growing up in a christian home and the next day your son starts taking meth, drugs, sex, drinking, stilling, going out at nights for weeks, porno, and coming home weeks later unrecognized looking like a homeless skinny and throwing himself on the floor but bringing with him all kinds of stolen Items like: Appliances, purses, wallets ect. doing meth in the middle of the night. Finally having to get rid of all the furniture in the room for the sake of my other two boys. I work with the sheriff's department in the same city I live in so he was arrested by them many times in and out, everyone at the station knowing who he was. One night he was involved in this big burglary, robbery, carjack, attempt murder, and text my 21 yr old son to pick him up so my other son and he were both arrested by my agency, both in the jail cell at my work place, felt like a funeral, both went to prison up north 21 served 6 months but during that period I was going to both their court on different dates and time, taking time off work going to deposit money in their book (jail) went on for months I was supporting both my son's. And my young one was sill in 11th grade involved in football, baseball, Cadet for the sheriff's dept and I had to be with him and support him it was very very exhausting for me and my boy. In the middle of everything having a husband that was very passive and not very protective over me I decided I needed time away from everyone my home was no longer a home we seperated my boys went with my husband. When my 21 yr. old got out of jail a month later he got beat up by someone broke both his jaws had to have wires on each and everysingle tooth his mouth was completely shut, couldn't eat unless the food was blended. On May 10th (mothers day) I received a call at 5:30 am. from my husband that my young one was in a car accident and that he was in the hospital but not serious, in July 10th my neice and 21 yr old son went to a house party and they put extecy in her drink and was in the ICU for three days. a week later my mother had a stroke today is August 5, 2009 and just was just transferred to a mission care rehab she is half brain dead. My brother was deported and sent to T.J Mexico and I have not heard any news about him. And last my whole family has not been supportive of my crisis with my problems and they beleive that by having parties, holiday's and b-day's thats supporting each other. I confronted my mother before she had the stroke and asked her for support and nothing, talk to my brother and nothing no one in my family seems to care about being their for one another in good and bad. They are very dissapointed at me because of the choice I made. I have always been a good daughter and sister- sister in law and this seperation to them has been the cause of my isolation with the family. My boys seem not to call me nor visit seems they don't worry about my where abouts, and have not received a single call from anyone. Even in the midths of everything going on they don't get it! What God is trying to tell the whole family. I have realized that it is true what the bible says: Father/ mother will leave you even family but "GOD" will never, ever forsake you and through kkla. 99.5 from 7am - 11pm he has answered and embraced me through live testimonials that is a sign that he is still with me. I am now just mailing encouragement cards, letters, puzzles or books to my son in jail telling him that I love him no matter what and sending him bible verses to share with others. and I chose to write two other unknown inmates through intouch ministries and have both a women and a man to send letters of encouragement. I also sponsored a "world wision" child hoping that through them I can be appriciated, loved as well as them. I am also sending letters, card to my two son's that live 15 minutes away from me. They never write back or mention anything to me but I know that God is making stronger and they will all come around I don't know when but I am praying and asking God to simply just give me the faith and strength to go on in life. I know he has a purpose. So u too don't give up keep busy with KKLA you will never be bored and you will find the answers to your questions and hurt. I know what I'm telling you. About your boyfriend he is not worth it ask God to help you get him out of your mind and he will. Get yourself involved in a church their is so much to do when your single you have no responsibilities, go for it......I hope that my messed letter will be of encouragement to your life as all testimonials on kkla have been in mine, and I can't tell you how happy and greatful I am to GOD for all my brothers and sisters that have a compassionate, love, understanding, patience, time willing, unselfesh hearts.
'GOD BLESS ALL OF THEM" MARTI,

[Matthew Allan Schultz]

I have suffered from major depression most of my adult life, now 37, and finally went on medication this year which has truly helped me.

I want you to know Jesus loves you and, I am sure everyone involved in New Life as well. There is hope for depression and I pray that you find it by connecting yourself to the right medical professionals, church and Christian fellowship, Through Jesus Christ, all tihngs are possible for you....please have this hope and this faith.