Rejection(How do we battle the feel of pain?)

[chukky_gal27]

hello there, the word rejection has been something common in my life. I am 27 now and for the past 10 years non-stop i have been going through this pain. I am the youngest in my family, i could say that i have got a decent family who loves me dearly. As i turn teenage and till now i am an adult, love and relationship has never worked well in my life. Rejection after rejection, only pain, insultment and embarrasement that left for me to bear. Until last year, at one point after being rejected, i attempted suicide, because i dont see my life going anywhere. I currently pursuing my degree and working, i have got a good reputation for the dedication of my work. But i dont know why ,i always see myself at the end of the road, nowhere to go. i dont know whats wrong with me.... any men who near me, will soon move away, and that has made me really fear to near any men. Living in the society(asian), as my age catching up, everywhere i go, my relatives and friends oftenly enquire on my plans to settle down. i give them thousands of reasons, but the truth, there is no one to love me and accept me for who i am. Its really painful.Its like i am not fit for anyone.Guys i need some support. Thanks

[Donna Toole]

Hello there it is good that you took the first step in opening up about your feeling of being rejected. It sounds like you are very depressed. Have you ever considered going to a counselor or a therapist to open up how you are feeling. They can help you to heal and show you ways to change things in your life and to cope with lifes situations. My heart goes out to you my friend. Take the first step in being my friend. You are welcome to open up to me.

[chukky_gal27]

Hello Donna. Thanks.... Thanks for your caringness. As what u have mentioned, i did try talking to a counselor by phone. They just listen, and let u express, i feel good only for that moment, but the next day i realised that it doesnt solve my problem. They feeling of depression and frustration are still there rooted in my heart. I even tried taking anti-depresion medication prescribed by a doctor, it made me sleep, but the next morning when i wake up i realised my problems are still there. so i stop looking for external help. i think the solution is within me.... i maybe wrong. Everyday it is important to be happy, but as for me i struggle to find a reason to be happy.Futhermore i need to say this, i am living in a conservative society where people who goes for counseling and therapy are considered troubled people. i am just worried about that i will be convinced that i belong to that type of group. my gud frens, left me after my attempt of suicidal. They rarely keep in touch with me, which made me feel even worst. i am alone now. Thanks again Donna. Ur really nice.

[Donna Toole]

No you would not be considered troubled. I have been to a counselor. I am not a troubled person. They are there to help you. Truthfully it would nice if you could go to a counselor and see them in person. Not just one session. One session is not enough to heal. It may take several sessions, maybe months to heal. Don't be too proud to do this. No one has to know what you are doing. If anything they will help you to deal with life and people. As far as medicine, it may take a while for the medicine to work. You can't just take it for one day. Heck with what people think. You do it for yourself. Also, I have heard that taking long walks helps depression. Maybe you could take long walks and talk to the Lord while you are walking. That is good therapy in itself.

[SteveO]

My wife taught me a slogan "Fake It Until You Make It".
In faith "live the way God has prescribed in the Bible", until his Grace envelops you and it becomes natural and easy, being done with confidence and attentiveness.
In relationships, Give the Love you want to receive, Real and Caring, Supportive and Honest, Expect and only accept the same in return and don’t tolerate anything less, in very short order it will be a mutual naturally nurturing situation, and if not don’t be afraid to move on. Not every two people are compatible on every level, and again as my wife has had to remind me “We have different people for different seasons of our lives, you have to be willing to let some relationships go to built and move into new ones that more closely match you for the new you maturity has brought forth: a deeper faith will help you in discovering and recognizing the right qualities.
In family, remember they are being supportive in the only way they know how, replies of appreciation and taking control of the situation are the best way to minimize without hard feelings the amount of “Advice” you receive. Try responding with “Well God bless you for being concerned, but I am in a GREAT place right now and there is delight in my life “They will be taken aback by the positive energy and wonder what you know that they don’t, they may even become envies. This will also help you begin to believe in your life improvements and you will Live a more positive Life that will help all good things come to fruition.

Peace, and remember, God wants us to be happy and is pleased when we are happy, Psalm 70:4Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; and let those who love Your salvation say continually, “Let God be magnified.”

[chukky_gal27]

Thanks Steven. Your words and donna's really make me feel better. I am really hoping to meet and communicate more with good people so that i can generate positive energy. "Everything happen for good" and the "Harder life is the better", i am beginning to adapt these phrases in life. Whatever happen, i went throught it and today i am really grateful to God to be alive. thanks again.

[David Norman]

Hey there,

I am so encouraged when I read your post, because I don't feel alone with the rejection issue. Rejection just sucks, in fact I think I felt rejection by my own mother when I was like 8 years old, emotional rejection. Ever sense then I've felt entirely alone in life, even though I've married and have three kids now, emotionally I still feel completely alone in the world. I fear rejection to the deepest level and in the past when I tried to love a woman, I was deeply rejected and to me with my background it felt like death itself. I cannot really explain it any other way. However, I do know that I am loveable, I have had alot of self hatred over the years and felt unloveable, but God has helped me through alot of emotional pain and trauma and loss, it is also easy for us to look at and meditate upon the negative aspects of our lives rather than the positive, and we so often at least for myself, focus on what I want, rather than how God is supplying always what I need in my life. Your a wonderful human being, you have alot to offer people, stop the negative self talk, don't sale yourself short, and you don't really owe no one any explanations as to your future plans, try to live life just one day at a time and that's it, try to enjoy just one day of life ok. Keep your head up

David

[David Norman]

Hey there,

I am so encouraged when I read your post, because I don't feel alone with the rejection issue. Rejection just sucks, in fact I think I felt rejection by my own mother when I was like 8 years old, emotional rejection. Ever sense then I've felt entirely alone in life, even though I've married and have three kids now, emotionally I still feel completely alone in the world. I fear rejection to the deepest level and in the past when I tried to love a woman, I was deeply rejected and to me with my background it felt like death itself. I cannot really explain it any other way. However, I do know that I am loveable, I have had alot of self hatred over the years and felt unloveable, but God has helped me through alot of emotional pain and trauma and loss, it is also easy for us to look at and meditate upon the negative aspects of our lives rather than the positive, and we so often at least for myself, focus on what I want, rather than how God is supplying always what I need in my life. Your a wonderful human being, you have alot to offer people, stop the negative self talk, don't sale yourself short, and you don't really owe no one any explanations as to your future plans, try to live life just one day at a time and that's it, try to enjoy just one day of life ok. Keep your head up

David

[chukky_gal27]

Thanks David, What u said is true. I am in the process of reforming myself, but i wont say that i still have the guts to let go of things in life. Certain ppl and my past. No doubt sometimes it just drag me within seconds into things which i have been avoiding and put me in mess again. Its tough but i believe its not impossible. Thanks again.

[anthony R mack]

I feel the same way but I leared to let all of it go and looked to god to work me through it and now my life is so full of joy

[Brenda]

I know one person who can relate to the pain of rejection more than anyone! His name is Jesus. He was rejected, persecuted, spit on and abandoned. When I am rejected, I try to remember that I am in good company. Many wonderful God created people have been rejected by man. But look at what God shares about us in His word...

Ps 139:1-18
O LORD, You have examined my heart and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away.
You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am.
You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD.
You both precede and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!
I can never escape from Your spirit! I can never get away from Your presence!
If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, You are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night--
but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to You.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.
Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--and how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable!
I can't even count them; they out number the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, You are still with me!


He cares enough about us to know when we sit down and stand up. Who else cares about us that much? Mankind will fail us but He never will, if we just put our hope and trust in Him.

Prov 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths. NLT

Hang in there. You are not alone! : )

Loving you in Christ,
Brenda

[Sherri Ward]

Nothing is more healing than the words of God. Thank you Brenda for reminding us of how God feels us. When those closest to us reject us we have to run into the arms of a loving savior for healing. Then get back up and go back out there again.

[Mia]

hi, how are you now.
it sounds like you got alot of good advice.
when i was in the hospital not wanting to live because i wanted the pain to stop not because i didn't want to live- i love life-
i prayed and wrestled with God. sometimes you have to wrestle with Him and get mad and cry and plead and beg for His help. we are all here for you. keep reaching out to the world of good Christians who are there to help you. go to a good counselor. i also am Asian and it's harder than other ethnicities in that they do tend to demonize us who seek help. just think, they don't seek help but they're stuck. after years of therapy i'm not stuck and i'm happier than i've ever been in my life. but i attribute that to God and His using good therapists and medication and my thought life and exercise and taking good excellent care of myself. God said love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. meaning, one needs to love God, and oneself in order to properly love others. i was deeply depressed in my 20's and i wished i had gotten help then because it would have alleviated all the unnecessary years of pain but all in HIS time!! remember Rom 8:28--ALL things work together for good to those who love and trust in Him. not this and that but ALL things including the bad. He takes the bad and uses it and turns it for our good when we trust in Him. it's been that way my whole life. if i hadn't gone thru all the pain i could not feel compassion for you or others going thru the same thing i have. He says after we suffer we can then comfort those who go thru similar pain. please keep in touch and get out and be grateful for everything in the world. when i'm down, i just look at the sky, flowers, trees, birds, photos or paintings of nature- God's blessings in the world , His Artworks, and i thank Him for every little thing He created including myself and i feel much better. they say therapy, medication, exercise and gratitude are the keys to joy in our lives when we are depressed. just keep thinkg of God's love, grace and He chose YOU to save... Remember Christ said He came to give us life abundant , JOY abundant.
love and blessings, Mia