Weighted down with trouble.

[Karen29]

I have never done this before so please excuse my inexperience. I am so sad right now because my husband left me (33 years)....I still have 2 kids at home, a mother who lives with me.....and I just got notice my job is ending in March. My husband has been a faithful man, we are living separately due to job and other complicated issues and I guess the distance went on too long as he is seeing a coworker. He did not come home for Christmas...did not call our kids....will not return calls. It is a disaster for our family and now I am laid off as well. I am realizing that just because we never fought....that doesn't mean things were good. I have trust issues, boundary issues....confidence issues. I have only recently started listening to the program. I would appreciate if anyone could direct me to the first of many books that I should read.
Thank you.

[Karen29]

Thank you for you kind words and book recommendations...I am sorry to acknowledge your response so late. "Changes that Heal" sounds like a good start......there is not much hope for my relationship, but I can work on becoming the woman God wants me to be.
God Bless,
Karen

[PlansForHope]

Dear Karen,
So sorry that you and your family are going through this difficult time! The NLL program has been so helpful and encouraging to me, so glad that you are able to listen to the program. I also found the book "Every Heart Restored' very helpful to me, along with "Secrets Men Keep" and two other books on marriage relationships "The Man of Her Dreams, The Woman of His" and "The Man of Her Dreams, The Woman of His 2" by Joel and Kathy Davisson. I haven't read "Changes that Heal", but have heart them mentioned on the NLL program as an excellent book! I'll keep praying for you and your family, that God will surround you with His love, His joy, His peace; and you will receive strength and help to get through this tough time!
God bless and keep you!

[Karen29]

Thank you for your kind response.
God Bless,
Karen

[Karen29]

Interestingly, "Love Must be Tough" was also recommended to me by a friend....I will be reading this soon.
Thank you for responding to my pain.....
God Bless You,
Karen

[Karen29]

What a wonderful attitude...."looking forward to the race that is set before me...", thank you for sharing that....I am trying to really feel my feelings. I have been taking walks and praying everytime hurtful scenerios enter my thoughts. I miss the friendship I had with my husband but I have more time to develop my relationship with God. I have not been in church for quite some time.....
Make your calls.....
Karen

[Tinaa]

so how is it going? What has helped ?

[Karen29]

Thank you for asking Tinaa, I spent months in a holding pattern, trying to appeal to my husband to give our family our family a chance at reconciliation. Many prayers later, I realized that this is not meant to be. My husband refuses to give up his girlfriend, rejects the forgiveness I have offered him and has pretty much ignored our children since last Thanksgiving. His lawyer is pushing the divorce forward so that looks imminent. I have been taking a bible study course, Elijah House Prayer Ministry and have found immense comfort, insight and encouragement from these lessons. I am still unemployeed, as are many others, but I have confidence and hope because God is working his purpose out. I have profound feelings of sadness at times but I just try to do my lessons, read Gods Word and look for somewhere I can be used of God.

[Tinaa]

my heart goes out to you Karen29. You do seem to be doing "the right" things--things to build up and nurture yourself and children. Listening to NLL has been a big help to me, too...over the last 20 years. I find great confidence and assurance in studying God's word of His love and nearness. And the "serving others" has certainly blessed in many ways.How sad for the cowardly and the quitters that just dump their marriages--refusing to go through the process to improve their relationships. Lord, Your eyes go to and fro throughout the earth to help those whose hearts are trusting in you. Please open the eyes of the quitters to see how important the investment is in their family. And help us all to be brave.

[Karen29]

Tinaa, thank you. I too pray that my "husband" would see the need to be invested in our family. God truly has helped me to be brave because my job loss, loss of my husband...potential loss of our home would have taken me out if I would have tried to do this on my own. God has always searched for me, he has never abandoned me and I finally have an understanding of His love. This has been a tremendous hurt...and your kind words just reinforce how good God's love is. God bless you Tinaa.

Karen

[Sheri]

I recommend also, "Safe People." It helped me after my marriage ended. "The Search for Significance" also helped me understand more of who I am in Christ and how much he loves me. I hope it will do the same for you. Love, Sheri

[Karen29]

Thank you for the reading recommendations Sheri, I will read those books as well. Also, thank you for taking time to read my post and responding....I was crying out to God last night, feeling vulnerable and low and in need of love. And, today you post a response....God really does pay attention to the details of our needs! Thank you !
Love,
Karen

[Cheryl Holt]

"How to Survive the Loss of a Love" by Peter McWilliams, Melba Colgrove

This little book comforted me when I went through a searing loss similar to yours. I know what it's like to awaken in the middle of the night with the terrifying reminder .. of being abandoned. This book is easy to read. Simply nurtures your spirit. It's not preachy.

Sooner or later, you'll feel like you again. Promise.

YOUR JOY SHALL NO MAN TAKE FROM YOU.