Drug and Alcohol

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Comment by Marie on May 5, 2009 at 11:55pm

Thank you to all of you who responded to my posts, just sharing my secret addiction with others on this site is so helpfu. I can't live in hiding and isolation anymore. Thanks for reinforcing to me the freedom from addiction is only found in Jesus Christ. Linda, I especially like how you talk about the fact that the high is not worth what it costs. The good feeling only lasts so long and the more I take it, the less that it seems to help me not feel. I am desperate for a high that I just don't feel anymore Instead I just feel drugged and horrible all the time. I reall think that I am just trying not to feel anything and the more pills I take, the more and can sit and just be numb for a while.

Comment by LINDA D'ANTONIO on May 5, 2009 at 3:23pm

< I will be praying for you also.. using is a one time high .Afer that one time high you spend >the rest of time hiding , lying and losing eveyone around you.
Ask yourself why would you want to spend the rest of life like that.
Talk to someone seek help.. God will and can restore you.. Ask him, cry out to him.
I know what you and your families are going through.. My husband was an addict The day he knelt up at the alter he was set free. It doesn't work for everyone like that. My youngest daughter is struggling with addiction.. And she doesn't want to hear about God.. Yesterday she told me she does not want to live. Everyday is a struggle.. I cannot make her get in counseling but I pray everyday . She needs a divine intervention..
I know only one thing he will never leave her or forsake. as he will never leave you. CRY OUT TO HIM , HE WILL LEAD THE WAY.

GOD BLESS,
LINDA;

Comment by Dana on May 5, 2009 at 9:54am

Marie and Misty,
If you don't have someone that you can confide in that you can ask to help you, then I would call New Life - 1-800-newlife - and ask to speak to a counselor. Don't put off getting help. You may be hiding your addiction well now but it will catch up with you eventually - either by destroying your health, causing legal problems, or perhaps your job, or relationships.

The fact that you acknowledge you have a problem is a huge first step. That you know God is another huge step. He is a God of second (3rd, 4th, 5th....) chances. He WANTS you to come to him. He forgives us of our sins and he does not keep track of how often we fall, only how often we come to him. He wants to be the one to fill that void in your life. We all have that hole, that void, and it is a place that ONLY he can fill. We have free will to choose what we are going to do with our lives, God wants us to FREELY choose him. He will NOT turn you away but Satan will try to convince you that you are not worthy or that God does not want someone like you. DO NOT fall for Satan's lies.

Do like James says and go somewhere where others will love you and accept you and help you. Take the first step. Keep going back. If you fail, get up and try again. DO IT NOW.

I will be praying for you.

Comment by james on May 5, 2009 at 5:33am

I'm praying for you Marie.......We have all been exactly where you are right now. Feeling void and empty...a million miles away from God. Drug addiction can really isolate you from everybody. I kept my drug addiciton from everybody as well, but sooner or later, your going to need to make some close friends that you can open up to. I would either try starting with Celebrate Recovery, or AA, even though it sounds like you prefer drugs over alcohol. Still trying to do it on your own just doesnt work. Once you find some people that you can spend time with, hold you accountable, and teach you how to enjoy life sober, that wall that you feel between you and God will come down, and you will walk into a new life filled with peace and joy....Dont give up on yourself!!!

Comment by Marie on May 5, 2009 at 12:27am

I pray for something drastic to happen so that I can change my life. I know that I need God and that He will Gladly welcome me back to Himself, but I am afraid that I have made to big of a mess that I don't deserve God's love

Comment by Marie on May 5, 2009 at 12:23am

I am struggling with addiction. I feel so far away from God and from everyone that I love. No one knows that I am an addict. I cover it well, or so I think, but I am becoming increasingly isolated from everyone that matters to me. I do not like myself at all and taking drugs numbs the emptyness that I feel. Logically, I know that God can feel the void, but I am so far away from Him that I feel that there is no hope.

Comment by Misty Smith on May 5, 2009 at 12:06am

I have a problem. I have an addictive personality. Please pray

Comment by Deb on April 10, 2009 at 9:40pm

I can relate Dana and Don from the other side...I'm a recovering alcoholic. Believe me, I never wanted to cause the pain and grief I caused while drinking and tried numerous times to quit. I now have 4 months sober and pray about it every day. First your spouses have to admit they have a problem, then get help, 12 step and possibly a rehab. They have to turn it over to a higher power, which in my case is God. It took four rehabs (one that was an excellent one) to realize and admit that I am powerless over addiction. Moderation is not an option. I can't have one drop, because I can't stop. I really feel for all of the victims of this disease, the friends and relatives, as well as the addict/alcoholic. I will pray for all of you.

Comment by Dana on April 10, 2009 at 11:50am

I can totally relate to you Don. I have been struggling a lot lately. My husband is a drug addict and alcoholic. He is not using right now so he is drinking more. He is trying to "moderate" it but that only works for a few days. I have gotten very close to the ultimatum but have not been able to get over the fact that God hates divorce. Your Bible verse is very appropriate and I will have to give that some consideration. We have been married 19 years and we have had these same problems to some degree for the whole marriage. I love him and he loves me but sometimes love just does not seem like enough. My kids are all grown but the impact on our lives continues. I am going to try, one more time, to get involved in a group (Al-Anon or Celebrate Recovery) before I make a decision. Please pray for us too.

Comment by Don J Caterisano on April 9, 2009 at 1:07pm

Hello everyone, here is my story and where I am with an Alcoholic spouse. My wife has been drinking heavily for the last 8 years or so after her mother passed away suddenly. At the same time, I was hiding my sexual addiction and not addressing my own issues. The combination was leading us down a path of destruction. Two years ago, with my wife's encouragement and listening to New Life, I came clean to her about the last 20 years. We went to counseling 20 years ago and I thought I had dealt with my issues, but was not the case and I sank further into a secretive life of Porn and Topless clubs. So two years ago I came clean with everything and agreed to attend a weekend program with New Life and work to get my life straight, which I am proud to say I have done and will continue to life my life in God's image not my own. However, as much as I wanted my issues to be the only issues in our marriage, that was simply not the case. My wife went to an Every Heart restored, but came out of it with more concerns and less trust of me than ever. She also increased her drinking, which was already 12 or more beers a night to 18 or more beers a night. This has continued and gotten worse over the last two year. She has attacked me many times in the middle of night and we have not slept with each in over two years when I moved upstairs to avoid the 2-3AM abuse. I continued to think that if I just lived right, that she would change. Well, that's simply not the case with an alcoholic and she has never admitted she has an issue, they are all my fault or my issues. Now we are at a point, where I have filed for divorce and want the judge to make her leave the house (still have a 13 year old at home), or get treatment, but not just me leave and she stays the same, killing herself and ruining everyone's lives. So pray for me please as I try to dig very deep to stay strong in this conviction that she has to change or I must change how I have enabled her to continue her ways. I could easily just walk away and give her everything, which I have wanted to do because I love her so much. I have realized that is not the answer and walking away is leaving her to her own demise as well as impacting my kids (have 3 girls total 22, 21, 13). I want anyone else going through an alcoholic partner to know it's not your fault, NO MATTER WHAT you did. Alcohol is an excuse and a desparate hiding place from the truth. If you are facing a similar situation, dig deep and pray to God for strenght and inspiration to do what's right, not what is easiest. For me, it will be in a Judge's hand in a week or so. If the judge tells me to leave her be, then I won't have a choice and can only know I did all I could to save her from herself. To close, I remember reading Jesus saying "If someone is doing you injustice, then first go to them and expain how you feel and why their actions are hurting you. If that doesn't change them, then bring witnesses who can state your case with first-hand knowledge of what is occurring. If that does not make a change, then bring the person before the Church to make their actions visible and true. Finally if none of this brings change, then you must walk away and leave them to their own and out of your life, you have done all you can". These were Jesus's words not mine and not someone esle interpreting them. So how can I argue with that? Peace, Love and God grace upon all you.

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