Eating Disorders

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Comment by lj on October 21, 2009 at 11:48pm

OCT 22 LIFL Devo by Arterburn, Puff, and Conaway
"I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be....I am focusing my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead..." Phil 3:12-13
To Win the Game, Step Out
In Phil Paul passionately teaches believers the importance of living deliberately for the cause of Christ. The mission of Paul's life is to become all that Christ wants him to be, and he has a plan for how to accomplish that: by forgetting the past and looking to what lies ahead.
Consider the inseparability of these two endeavors. How can we look forward to what lies ahead when we continually serve our old lifestyle? How can we forget our past when we have no aspirations? The two work simultaneously, creating one solid plan for achieving God's call on our life. So we must move past the misery of our failures and disappointment.
Now is the time for us to step out of our familiar, destructive habits and into God's grace and healing jpower for an abundant life. It is a process. Fortunately, we can follow the example of Paul, who clearly identifies the mission of his life and gets on with it. We can live deliberately and aim toward becoming all that Christ saved us for and wants us to be, if only we'll forget the past and focus on what lies ahead.
Today, Lord, I will move out of one destructive habit and into Your healing power. Please help me to focus my energies on becoming all that You want me to be.

Comment by trisha on October 18, 2009 at 11:32am

HI Ladies,
Life hurts for me right now. It seems my marriage is always on a up or a down from the last "situation" my husband and I have had. I was a really "good girl" these last few weeks, submitting to the way my hubby wanted everything.
My husband commented on how good he felt our marriage was going and how good he felt- ok, but I'm dieing inside. I feel like he doesn't give a rip about how I feel or who I really am. As long as his meals are done, kids feed, and I'm full of energy for the night hours, life is good. I could be dieing inside but he truely does not want to know that. In the last year I have found a new church I love and the kids have the most amazing youth stuff going on. I've made some really good , I can share and count on girl friends through my womens fellowship and CR. I've never felt more in a community and alive then this, then, well... ever.
I always stayed home and isolated my self in the past.
The problem is we live out in the middle of nowhere and I have to travel a considerable distance for this stuff, but so don't all the folks who live in my neck of the woods. My hubby recently told me I had to find a church closer to home or go back where I use to. And he has told me I need to change CR nights because he needs help with cub scouts. The resentment and anger I feel about this is pretty intense. He makes excuses about the financial strain of the traveling. Don't get me wrong I could honestly understand if we did not have the resourses for this, but that's truely not the case. We spend a ton of money on hunting and jeeping trips. On average our jeeping trips cost at least a grand or 2 for damage to the vehicle whenever we go. We really don't go that often to be fair. But my hubby throws money around like theres no tommorrow. He feels it's perfectly fine to buy everything all the other scouts need. He never requires the other parents to put in their share for supplies or whatever they happen to be building. This fall they are working on building soap derby cars that will end up costing about 3-4 hundred per scout and he's paying it all yet I can't afford an extra tank of gas a month to do those things I would coose to.
I'm steaming right now .
This isn't new news I've been trying to roll with it for a while I'm just so angry!!! It's really hard for me to see his side he works , literally 7 days a week. He is gone by 5a and home between 7-9p. He does take a weekend off or at least one weekedd day every 1-2 months for jeeping and camping - family is always inlcluded my hubby rarely, rarely takes any time off without including the family- He is just such a major workaholic. He's a faithful man, with lots of integrity and honor, but I feel like I'm married to bank account. My children are getting older, with my youngest being 5. I've spoken to him about going back to work in the next year or two and going back to school- He's quit upset bout this. He feels I am being self fish. Ihave stayed home with my children all their young years, I only see my self homechooling for maybe another 1-2 years then I do want to get out and be "selfish" I do have desires to go back to school and follow a career I have wanted for a long time.
I need more I feel Iike I'm dieing.!!
I struggle often with just trying to do the right thing for the marriage while being true and honest about my needs that's hard. I do try to submit to my hubby as leader; however, being that he is not a believer I think the church thing is my decision and my responsibilty; because, like it or not, I have to act as spiritual leader in my family. And honeslty George is so rarely there for me- it can be lonely and somethimes even more so when he is their because our souls do not connect.
Well, ladies thanks for lending me an ear, and someone please write back- I'm feeling somewhat ilsolated right now ( if you can't tell).
We've been on our vaca, hunting in the way nowhere parts of Idaho- I haven't connected with anyone for the last 2 weeks, I was suppose to go to CR this week but my hubby was in one of those don't you leave moods.
Carol, H!, love to hear form you.
Trisha

Comment by trisha on October 16, 2009 at 4:40pm

Gina, Hi!
I see your reaching out, asking for support and help - that's great! Learning to ask for things we need is growth. It may seem small to you to do it via internet , but it's still all those small victories that adds up.
Early in my recovery one thing that really helped me was journaling and looking at everything that was going on just before that b/p. "
The overcoming bulimia workbook"- published by Harbinger Publication has alot of thiese obnoxious yet very helpful dailly charts that help you identify and learn alot of your triggers.
I really don't have all the time right now to write what I wanted to- I'll be back.
Do remember you will probabley fall back alot more than you like in your recovery ( We are not perfect people and neither is our recovery) That's ok it's part of the healing process. The thing I was taught to stand on over and over again by my therapist was-- ok it happened. NO SHAME, NO GUILT. This was repeated many many times because satan loves this tool it gives him so many more opportunites to reward you with another b/p and another. He lovese loves shame and guilt so much- a special gift from his heart to yours- Don't accept it!
I'll leave you with something my pastor shared awhile back that has helped me. As Christians we have the right to fail- YES, WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO FAIL.
in recovery we are learning how to walk in a sence. When we fall God doesn't say you bad person you fell. He says oops, try it this way - I love you and I don't care how many times you fall I will be there for for you.. You see as christians this is a wonderful priviage we have, the right to fail. Satan did not have this privilage, He was a created being and was created to serve God - so I think he might be a bit jealous. As a privilaged child of God He will never cease to give us another chance , never cease to love, and never cease to be utterlly in love and happy with you sister.
Praying for you Trisha
W

Comment by lj on October 10, 2009 at 3:29pm

Gina, I read back comments and noticed that you are relatively new here. So, if no one else has told you welcome, let me say it now, Welcome. I've never been diagnosed with ED and yet I know how I think, feel, and act with food. I've loved--yes, loved food. The disorder surfaced when my marriage was breaking up. Food became a strategy to deal with discomforting feelings. My body image issues reflect my issues with love, rejection, and abandonment. So for me, I must continue to remind myself that I am lovable and acceptable as I am. I have learned to tell myself that my feelings of stress are only feelings and that if I wait they will pass without my eating or exercising. And I absolutely must stay in the moment--no forecasting gloom and doom. So, Gina, I usually try to label my emotions that are triggering eating. (I don't always know what I'm feeling.) Then I remind myself that our Mighty God is bigger than anything we think, feel, or we're dealing with.

Comment by lj on October 10, 2009 at 3:09pm

Gina, I wish I had some wisdom to give you just now. However, I'm in a cycle of seeming uncontrollable hunger. Right now I keep reminding myself that God is my Great Reward--not food. (Jesus, God's love and acceptance, etc), and that He is my Shield. This helps if I can keep repeating it and remove myself from temptation. I also use praise and worship; not only is God worthy of it but praise and worship is a tremendous offense against spiritual warfare. I don't know if you will find any of this helpful, you likely have already tried these.

Comment by Gina on October 10, 2009 at 2:50pm

I need some suggestions.....The past 2 wks I've found myself slipping back into my addiction cycle of binge eating then feeling bad and then over exercising.....I was doing good for several weeks and now I find myself in reverse mode.....Anyone have any words of wisdom to get me out of this pit???........I wonder, am I totally giving my obsession with my weight over to God or am I still trying to hold on to it?? ...or is satan trying to get me to doubt myself and the progress I've made to this point???....I just want to be healthy again in all areas of my life, spiritually, physically and emotionally.

Comment by Deborah R. Phillips on October 2, 2009 at 2:24pm

Amen, Carol. When I think of all the time I spent so wrapped around my ED with nothing left to give my husband or daughter. I remember the look in their eyes when all I wanted to talk about was how many calories was in what was on their plate or how to lose weight while watching TV or why we needed yet another scale in the house. I was so blind then,,, so fooled by the devil,,, so totally absorbed in the ED. Now that WAS selfish. When I got help... REAL help... and finally gave control to the Lord....... that was when I stopped focusing on self and began to live again. It was indeed a slow process crawling out of that pit. But, like you said,,, one day at a time, one eye-opening moment at a time...... crucifying the flesh takes GUTS and huge determination and CHRIST!!!

Comment by Carol on October 2, 2009 at 11:53am

Gina,
I understand your feeling "bad" - almost seems selfish to get help for yourself, doesn't it? Well, for the sake of your family, your marriage, be a little selfish. You'll see it's not selfish at all. It will benefit your family immensely if you get the help and support you need in the form of therapy. It's what helped me, and I can tell you my husband and my son have a more whole and more healthy wife and mother who is present in there lives - present physically, emotionally and spiritually. Take the time you need for yourself now. And yes, it's one day and sometimes one moment at a time.

Comment by Gina on October 2, 2009 at 8:42am

Thanks for all your encouraging words. What is difficult for me is to try and find balance between recovery work and family etc. It gets overwhelming at times. I have 2 children, 7 and 4 yrs old. I'm a stay at home mom. Which is definitely a blessing not to work outside the home and try to nurture my children the best I can and know how. Especially since my problems come from a dysfunctional childhood. So I try to give my children what they need growing up, that I didn't get as a child. My husband is very supportive of me and my ED. God bless him. Sometimes I get to feeling really bad him having to put up with me and my ED. He has enough stress with work. I just want to get better. I have this fear of passing this on to my daughter and I don't want that to ever happen to her. I'm learning I need to give it ALL to God or I'll never get better. I know I can't hold on to this struggle. I need to give God the control. Sometimes I wonder am I giving it to God?? And then at other times am I just being too hard on myself and need to relax and take one day at a time? One moment at a time.

Comment by Carol on October 1, 2009 at 1:26pm

Amen, Trish!

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