Sexual Abuse

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Comment by kathy on September 7, 2009 at 6:00pm

God's child,

I am please and commend you for making the choice of seeing a therapist.

I recommend it since it is a healthy and supporting opportunity to work with
someone who works with these things daily. Imagine their experience and
insight into these concerns!

I find going to see my counselor gives me the outlet i need to talk about my
current concerns and have an expert help me deal with past issues as well.

These people present a healing therapuetic relationship. You may find as I have its like we go to experts for physical problems, it is natural to go to an expert
for emotional troubles. Makes sense to me.

I find that a load is lifted off my back, I have a place to go with these needs, it helps me improve my thinking and feeling of well being and it gets left in the
therapy room until t he next appointed time. It is relieving so I can enjoy my
self more knowing I am doing something good, productive and gives me a feeling
of belonging and good about myself.

Some of these things you may not feel right away but in time I trust you will
benefit. A wise person seeks counsel. It makes good sense! Its a place
to share our burdens with people who know how to guide us to a better place.

God bless you, I have great hope for your help in counseling, Kathy

Comment by God's child on September 7, 2009 at 5:42pm

I am afraid. I am 38. I was abused by 3 different relatives from ages 4 - 9. While I have survived to live a relatively "normal" life up until now, I find myself back in the predicament of facing my past in order to heal and move forward. I once tried group therapy at my church about 2 years ago and left because I felt my situation was not as severe as some. I didn't want to re-hash the past and "feel sorry for myself". But, I am back because my relationship with my husband of 12 years is hitting a wall for me regarding intimacy. And I realize it has everything to do with my past. I read Door of Hope by Jan Frank and started re-reading it today. I have always known about this website and what it offers. I feel ready to truly start my healing and forgiveness and to seek therapy. I also have anger issues when it comes to my 6-year old son and sometimes with my husband. I do not like the person I am and don't see any other way out of this life except by facing the past. I've read some of your posts and feel encouraged that perhaps this is the right place to be until I find a therapist. Thank you for reading my post and I hope to grow to be the woman God has called me to be.

Comment by kathy on August 30, 2009 at 12:58pm

Rachel Joy,
Has your friends family member been able to show her the evidence they have
found re this person's background? Have they advised her or anyone that
she should do a background check if she is meeting him privately or
spending time in his home without a friend or family member? All
these dating sites recommend meeting in a public place with your
own transportation when accepting a meeting with someone on
their site.. I pray for her safety and that her family or a friend
can advise her and she will see what she is doing is not safe
in Jesus name I ask in thanksgiving Amen. Also please advise
her family not to act irrationally or made dramatic opinions about
it, just inform her otherwise they can be sending her right into
his arms. Take good care and trust you will get the intervention
you are asking for..believe you will get it..God Bless you and yours, Cece

Comment by kathy on August 30, 2009 at 12:53pm

FYI Louise, I left you a comment in your personal mail here re your recent post. Cece

Comment by Rachel Joy on August 16, 2009 at 4:28pm

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST!!!

Everyone, please pray for a dear sister in Jesus who has been blinded and is walking right into a trap! This friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic who found Jesus and got sober over 2 years ago. Now she has turned away from walking the healing path and is looking for love in all the wrong places. She met a guy on the internet and is planning to fly out of state to meet him. I know that sometimes internet dating works out OK, but this guy is not legitimate. This girl's family has been doing a background check/research on him and his information is falsified. She is planning to fly out to meet this stranger she has never seen, and her mom is fearing the worst (rape and then murder). Her mom has tried to talk with her reasonably (not in a controlling way, but in a loving, truth-telling way), but she will not listen. She knows it is killing her mom inside but all she can think about is the guy and the love she wants. PLEASE, PLEASE pray that God will intervene and make it impossible for her to go on this trip, so that she will not be harmed! Please pray that her heart will be softened to God and those who love her! THANK YOU!

Comment by Dayle on July 20, 2009 at 4:09pm

Paul....you are so right! I spent 30 years of my life wanting to be "normal." I had a wonderful counselor who worked through this with me. She asked me to define normal...then to attempt to find 'normal' people. After a couple of sessions pondering the matter...and after much laughter...I finally understood that there is no "normal." Normal is only what each of us believes it to be and each of us has to come to terms with the kind of person we are and who we want to be. Acceptance is the key. I find my normal in knowing who I am in Christ. I believe that is the only true satisfaction to be found in our lives. Whatever horrible things that have happened to me in the past does not define me as a person. ~The ultimate healing for me has always come through helping others. The most profound words I have ever meditated on were from Rick Warren's book, "The Purpose Driven Life." He begins the book with, "It's not about me." I made the choice to embrace that statement and change my thinking. God blessed that choice greatly. Staying focused on Jesus, and loving others, brought healing that I never dreamed possible. I spent much of my life feeling worthless and hopeless. I allowed those who abused me to have more power in my life than God. Even though they were no longer in my life, I continued to abuse myself. Jesus changed that and freed me from the emotional bondage. ~There are so many hurting people in the world. God will give us the strength and power through His Spirit to love, nurture, and heal others if we step outside of ourselves and simply ask Him. It is life changing for sure.
So, thank you Paul for the reminder to Praise God for all He has done, and continues to do, as we travel on this journey together. :)
~love to all....dayle

Comment by Paul Hughes on July 20, 2009 at 12:37pm

I'm not a trained counselor but one thing I've come to terms with is to stop making "being normal" my life's goal. There are people worst off than me and with the few years left to me I'm going to do what I can to help them. Though there are times when it's all about me and there are times of healing or maybe grieving. Getting rid of hatred, or enduring the "why me?" times of life. But there is joy in helping others and living for God and looking forward to the day I leave this world and will be totally healed. I took a bunch of underprivileged kids to Marine Land a few weeks ago. Didn't think about myself once all day. Oh year! :)

Comment by Louise on July 13, 2009 at 2:58pm

I've been very hesistant to post anything since I've joined the group. I don't know how these online communities work. I'm feeling really terrible lately though. Just a deep awfulness inside of me (as opposed to awesomeness, which would be great!). I've been working through the shame of past sexual abuse and sexual damage for about six years and I find that I'm in one of those really deep moments of healing and recovering. Also, I'm just so hurt by my own decisions to sin sexually, especially recently, and dealing with the pain I've caused myself by making that choice. Releasing myself by forgiving myself seems to be the hardest thing right now. Wondering how my abuse will affect me when I'm married has been weighing heavily on my mind lately too. Has anyone experienced God cleanse their sexuality and sexual slate after abuse but before marriage?

Comment by Sadiemom on June 23, 2009 at 2:56pm

Racheal Joy, Remember you have a Heavenly Father.

Comment by Rachel Joy on June 22, 2009 at 8:42pm

Hi everyone! How was father's day for you all? I had an OK day but then the loss of my relationship with my dad really hit me full force today. The grief was so intense I just could not stop crying for a long time. This was my 3rd father's day since I have not seen or spoken to my dad. It is for my own good and safety (and his own good too, so that I do not enable him)...but it is hard. But God is holding me up, and provided a loving friend to silently sit with me while I cried. I am getting through it. I would rather face the grief than stuff it (which was my usual tendency growing up).

I was just wondering if anyone could say a prayer for my younger sister who has severe PTSD. She is on disability because of it, and cannot currently hold down a job. To make matters worse, the house where she is living is unsafe, and she must move immediately, but does not really have a place to go (other than back to unhealthy, dangerous or co-dependent family members)...I have really been concerned about her. THANK YOU SO MUCH for your prayers!!!

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