Dana's Discussions
married to a drug addict and alcoholic
Replied Nov. 14, 2008
married to a drug addict and alcoholic
Replied Nov. 12, 2008
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Sounds like a good book with wise advice. I too have always felt that I am to love and I have interpreted that to mean - make him happy. I guess there is a difference between the two. Sometimes loving is choosing the tough path, the path that may ...
It is amazing how messed up we can get with so little conscious thought. Even when we are trying to be loving, trying to raise responsible kids, trying to encourage...we sometimes hurt those we love the most. Unrealistic expectatiions, pats on the...
I don't know what it is in my life that is unresolved and I am not sure how to figure it out. I was never abused. My parents were divorced when I was about 8 and my dad was absent a lot but I don't know how that would relate to my choices? There w...
Ruth, I know exactly what you are saying. I was married at 17 to a drug addict (though I did not understand that at the time), my second was to an alcoholic and pot smoker, and my 3rd (and longest) to a drug addict and alcoholic. I have never dran...
Brad, the fact that you are working a program and seem genuninely interested in beating this is at least half the battle. I am sure your wife is at a big a loss as to explain things as your are. As for God delivering you from this, don't give up o...
Karla, only you can decide if you can live with this. We often marry with blinders on and/or think the other person will change, one, because they love us and two, because we really want them to. Unfortunately, it is usually the other way around. ...
Brad, I don't know how long you have been married or how long you have had a drinking problem but it sounds to me like you are trying to make others responsible for your sobriety. Yes, in some ways it is easier to enable then to stand up but under...
Thanks for the post Ruth. I will get that book as it sounds like something I can use. I don't think that anyone else can tell you what limits to set. You have to look at yourself and your life and see what behaviors have an affect on you. Maybe yo...
Profile Information
- What radio station do you listen to?
- KKLA 99.5
- Relationship Status
- Married without kids
- How did you first hear about this community
- Radio Program
- Quote or Verse
- Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Comment Wall (3 comments)
- At 10:31am on March 9, 2009,
Dana said…
- What a beautiful and true sentiment.
- At 5:14pm on November 22, 2008,
Dana said…
- Marti,
My heart breaks for you. It is so sad when we find that the person we married is not that person. I have been married almost 20 years and I still don't know the whole truth about my husband. I do know that God says my vows are a covenant to him. That said, God does allow us to set boundaries. I am not telling you to divorce your husband but you may have to separate. New Life (i-800 New LIfe) has a great counseling program and I recommend that you call them right away. I believe that they will help you in any way possible to save your marriage and maybe more important, to offer your husband a chace to save himself. I am just now figuring out that my allowing my husband to continue in his addictions, I have harmed him and our relationship more then I have helped it.
Please find a group (Celebrate Recovery or Al Anon) so that you can talk about your issues and get support. Keep coming back here and posting your progress, fears, and hopes. And questions and concerns.
Most important, stay connected to God through prayer, studying the word, and fellowship. I will add you to my prayer list..
- At 1:36pm on November 22, 2008,
Marti said… - I just thought I would tell you that your comment describes my current situation. I have been married 1 year and 11 months and my husband is nice, kind and a great guy that I believed lhad a heart for God. He also relapsed with in 3 months of our marriage and has been on a relapse rollercoaster ever since. Im worn out and broke.
when I was away on business (for the first time in our marriage) he pawned several of my belongings and got into legal trouble. I left with an intact marriage that had a clear path and came back to a disaster!
I am impressed by your conviction to stay. I am further envious that you have full discrenment of God's will...this is what i struggle with. It seems like one day I decide he's a Christian man with a problem that I need to preservere and the next day I think , he's got to be a fake putting on a choir boy routine and is not really a Christian-he's just going to use me and likely get sober just before I die an untimely death from stress.
I dont understand how to stay...he's stealing from me even the authorites have seized my personal vehicle that he took when was away.
this is my first comment and my first time on this site-
thanks for the inspiration
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