I'm looking for an answer
To a question
I'm not sure
I have ever asked.
A pirate searching
For treasure; I
Take up my shovel and
Dig into my past.
Wondering if in my
Haste I have missed
The place where answers lie,
At last I stop to pray.
Bowed low in anguish,
My soul is crying for peace;
My mind is freed of scars
Christ's tears have washed away.
My broken heart becomes
The altar of surrender.
In that defining moment,
Darkness becomes light.
With trembling hands
I find diamonds of hope.
My…
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Added by oneneedleshort on December 1, 2009 at 8:30pm —
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Caught once again in life's great race
I find myself upon my face,
Once more asking for Your grace;
Afraid to look into Your face.
I wish I could see You smiling.
Your touch puts all my fears to rest;
My head is peaceful on Your chest.
No worries for tomorrow's tests--
My sleep is sweet, my dreams are blessed.
I sense You gently smiling.
Your breathe puts courage in my heart;
Creating me---Your work of art.
Your wisdom makes my knowledge smart
To make this day a brand new start.
I feel my Dadd…
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Added by oneneedleshort on November 9, 2009 at 11:40am —
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Do I have kind words
For my enemy
When the largest foe I fight
Is inside of me?
Can I speak kindly to the chaos
Leaping boldly to persecute
My dreams?
Will I slip into oblivion,
Unable to live--
Falling to my demons?
Dare I attempt to reconcile
This woman--this child--
Or perhaps destroy them both?
Can I find my courage,
Step past the false assumptions
That I mistook as truth?
Can I speak the words;
Salvage tattered dreams;
Bring lasting peace to my soul?
Do I have kind words
For my enemy?
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Added by oneneedleshort on October 28, 2009 at 2:50pm —
6 Comments
Sometimes when I am all alone
I dream Your glory fills my soul.
I dare to dream You hold my heart,
Restored and truly whole.
Held safe within Your loving arms
I sleep in perfect peace.
No longer bound by others' constraints,
My vision You increase.
I'm learning I can trust Your love.
I find acceptance on Your face.
With childish abandon I dare to leap
Into Your amazing grace.
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Added by oneneedleshort on October 23, 2009 at 6:08am —
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What do I want, God?
To be at rest within the
Circle of Your loving arms.
What do I want, God?
To find my peace inside the
Knowing of Your heart.
What do I want, God?
To find safety within Your
Protection. To be safe from all intended harm.
What do I want, God?
To belong inside Your
Safety; to be never torn apart.
What do I want, God?
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Added by oneneedleshort on October 16, 2009 at 7:00am —
1 Comment
Can You see me, God?
I wish I could see You.
I am a middle aged woman
With the mind of a little girl.
She is fearfully wandering the
Labyrinth of her dreams;
Tears streaming.
But no one sees, because
I am an adult;
I must have self-control;
I must not give in to silly emotions.
If I am emotional
I cannot fulfill my responsibilities.
I must leave the childish whims behind.
This pain--I cannot control it--
Pursues me; it refuses to stay in the past.
It stabs me like ten
Million beady-eyed
Sword wi…
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Added by oneneedleshort on October 9, 2009 at 9:31am —
7 Comments
Today I find my courage
In the God who never fails;
Next to Whom all demons falter
And Whose glory never pales.
I will hold His hand more tightly
As I walk this unknown road.
I will let Him heal my wounds
And take up my heavy load.
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Added by oneneedleshort on October 7, 2009 at 9:06pm —
2 Comments
This week has been rough. Really rough. Like "I want to pick up all my toys and go home and not work on recovery or healing anymore" rough.
I had written some letters in my counseling, and my counselor told me I should send this letter to my mom. I don't think he knew what he was asking. My mother is native Italian, a naturalized citizen, who speaks English, but prefers Italian, and reads English, but doesn't really understand what it means very well. Then it seemed like God provided the opportu…
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Added by oneneedleshort on October 3, 2009 at 7:00am —
5 Comments
Is there healing in Your arms
For the hurts that hold me back?
Is there deliverance from my shame,
So clingy, thick, and black?
Teach me to hold onto
Your lovingkindness
As I experience the joy
Of Your forgiveness.
As I reach my arms to You
Will You take them; will You hold me?
Will You restore my heart,
My life, to what You meant it to be?
Surround me with Your love;
Turn away my pain and rejection.
Help me love to seek Your face--
May I become Your true reflection.
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Added by oneneedleshort on September 28, 2009 at 1:03pm —
1 Comment
May my roots reach deeply
To drink of Your grace.
May my branches lift in praise.
May I receive the rain of Your mercy
Upon my upturned face.
As the wind of Your Spirit
Stirs the dormant gifts within me
May the rings of my influence
Always draw others to Your inerrant Truth.
May we together be set free.
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Added by oneneedleshort on September 25, 2009 at 2:23pm —
3 Comments
“ Hello, Life Matters, how may we assist you?”
“I need to talk to someone.”
“ OK, let me see who’s available.”
My hand shook as I was placed on hold. I almost lost my courage; I thought about my girls and strengthened my resolve.
“Hello, I’m Melissa. How can I help you?”
For the next forty-five minutes, Melissa spoke with me. We talked about my 16 year old son who had beat me up a couple of weeks earlier. We talked about my anger, my fear, and my husband’s refusal to help me control this child’s…
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Added by oneneedleshort on September 6, 2009 at 10:16am —
5 Comments
I recently began to see a counselor. His name is Mr Matthew. Our visits have been productive, but not always enjoyable. Last week we talked about some issues, and he gave me some homework. One of the things I had to do was to read this little kids' book called You Are Special, by Max Lucado. I thought, this will be easy. Then Mr. Matthew said I was supposed to read it 5 or 10 times before our next meeting. Each time I read it , I was supposed to read it straight through once, then read it slowly…
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Added by oneneedleshort on August 28, 2009 at 4:18am —
7 Comments
Today I began to fulfill my dream of being a college graduate. It was raining outside, but inside of me there was sunshine, and a little fear. As I drove onto the campus and found a parking space, the fear began to rise up. It became almost a living thing whispering in my ear. I asked God to help me, and He reminded me of a verse in the Bible.
"May the favor of the Lord our God show us his approval and make
our efforts successful; Yes, make our efforts successful!" --Psalm 90:17.
This verse so…
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Added by oneneedleshort on August 21, 2009 at 6:24am —
3 Comments
I wish You were here, God.
I wish I could look You in the eyes.
I want to grab the front of Your robes
with muddy hands and shake You and
yell at You.
I wish You were here, God.
I wish I could cry.
I want You to hold me; weep with me;
tell me You are sorry I have to
face this pain alone.
I wish You were here, God.
I want You to look me in the eyes.
I want You to give me something
to hold onto; reassurance that my pain
will become my victory.
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Added by oneneedleshort on August 11, 2009 at 7:00pm —
3 Comments
Just like Gideon, when God speaks
I tremble in fear.
I look not at God, or what I know to be true.
I only see how things appear.
In spite of my shortcomings,
The limitations of my humanness;
God continues patiently
Showing me His gentle goodness.
As I stand in the battles
I must fight along my journey,
I learn more of God's character.
He is My God of Victory.
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Added by oneneedleshort on August 3, 2009 at 6:18am —
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Help me accept this woman, Lord;
Emerging from her shell of death.
Let her know she is valuable.
She is worthy of life and breath.
Help me encourage this woman, Lord;
So uncertain of her own abilities.
Finding that her old beliefs
Are not Your realities.
Help me nurture this woman, Lord;
Reaching out to grasp her full potential.
Her heart has shut down to survive.
She is afraid to be emotional.
Help me accept this woman, Lord;
Growing stronger, becoming free.
Tears falling, she stands before…
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Added by oneneedleshort on July 25, 2009 at 12:11pm —
2 Comments
I have been doing my devotions from a book I got from New Life. It is called “100 Days of Character.” Today I did day three, and it is about my life being a sermon. I made a not very comfortable observation about myself. The question was: If your life was a sermon, would you be proud of it?
My life has been a sermon about being a dutiful and submissive wife, a good mother, and a faithful worker in my church. I have kept my house, home schooled my kids, and taught different classes for kids and a…
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Added by oneneedleshort on July 19, 2009 at 8:17pm —
3 Comments
One tiny green blade
Pushing past all odds; growing
In the cracked sidewalk.
One single pale blossom
Lifting a triumphant face;
Clinging to the cleft in the rock.
One holy, gentle, nail-scarred Hand
Reaching out with love
To bring undeserved grace.
One weak, helpless, broken heart;
Reaching past the paralyzing fear
To be lifted in praise.
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Added by oneneedleshort on July 15, 2009 at 7:30am —
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Last week I received my 90 day coin at Celebrate Recovery, and boy did I work for it! Earlier in the week I had a meltdown of sorts, and struggled once again with wanting to no longer live. But just now, thinking about that time, I realize that my actions were so different than 90 days ago. This time, I immediately connected with my accountability partners and my sponsor. Then I called a counselor, who was able to help me. My struggle was shorter, and I didn’t carry the weight that God was angry…
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Added by oneneedleshort on July 3, 2009 at 6:30am —
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The last couple of weeks have been very special at our house. Our oldest son, who came home from Iraq last month, and his wife have been visiting. With them, they brought a very special person. His name is Kayden, he is 5 months old, and he is our first grandchild.
His is the power to make this Gramma go from sewing or chores or sadness to laughing and playing and holding him in about 0 to 3 seconds.
The last several days have been pretty rough for me emotionally, and I got to thinking about wh…
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Added by oneneedleshort on June 26, 2009 at 6:54am —
4 Comments
