Until seventy times seven.
(Mat 6:14 - 15) For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
(Mat 18:21 - 22) Then Peter came to Him and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Until seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven.
(Mat 18:35) So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also to you, unless each one of you from your hearts forgive his brother their trespasses.
Okay I know I am suppose to forgive my husband. Okay I know that porn is a sin like any other sin. Okay I know also that I am a sinner in need of forgiveness and "If not for the Grace of God So goeth I". I must admit it is tempting to me also.
But this is what I also know... that it hurts me every time it happens. It feels like an act of adultery. It makes me feel unloved. It makes me feel terrible. It makes me feel if I can't trust him in this, How can I trust him in the real world (vs the virtual world)
Can I forgive him and still not trust him? Is that forgiveness? Do I keep on.. I have for 25 years!
Am I stupid? If someone was hitting me in the face I would not let them continue doing it... yet I continue this!
He says he loves me, that he is sorry, and that he will stop it, that measures have been taken to help him stop. Yet it happens again.
He says that I should be more of a wife to him in this area. So I am to believe it is my fault?
In the past I have became angry and lashed out and tried to hurt him to expose his sin. I know I would not want him to do that to me. But I want him to hurt like he hurt me. He says now he forgives me for that but must take measures to see that it does not happen again. He can't trust me when I get angry! I really have no one to talk to. To talk to someone at our church would be exposing his sin. Exposing his sin would be a public humiliation for him. He has not exposed mine!
He says I can't trust my emotions. He says that I can't go on feelings. He says I can't get angry the blind rage way I do! That I am hurting the family. I am an alcoholic and have been sober for sometime now. This is an accomplishment considering my earthly trials. I know what addiction does, how it can rule your life. He says if I stumble and it puts the kids in danger he will leave me and take my kids. So If I forgive him again this time does that mean he will forgive should I stumble again? Somehow his sin does not put our kids in danger so therefore it is different. That's what he says!
This man is a very intelligent, very bible versed Christian. I know he has his side of the story. I know that I have mine.
Do I continue to forgive and How can I continue to trust? I do love him!
(Mat 18:21 - 22) Then Peter came to Him and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Until seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven.
(Mat 18:35) So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also to you, unless each one of you from your hearts forgive his brother their trespasses.
Okay I know I am suppose to forgive my husband. Okay I know that porn is a sin like any other sin. Okay I know also that I am a sinner in need of forgiveness and "If not for the Grace of God So goeth I". I must admit it is tempting to me also.
But this is what I also know... that it hurts me every time it happens. It feels like an act of adultery. It makes me feel unloved. It makes me feel terrible. It makes me feel if I can't trust him in this, How can I trust him in the real world (vs the virtual world)
Can I forgive him and still not trust him? Is that forgiveness? Do I keep on.. I have for 25 years!
Am I stupid? If someone was hitting me in the face I would not let them continue doing it... yet I continue this!
He says he loves me, that he is sorry, and that he will stop it, that measures have been taken to help him stop. Yet it happens again.
He says that I should be more of a wife to him in this area. So I am to believe it is my fault?
In the past I have became angry and lashed out and tried to hurt him to expose his sin. I know I would not want him to do that to me. But I want him to hurt like he hurt me. He says now he forgives me for that but must take measures to see that it does not happen again. He can't trust me when I get angry! I really have no one to talk to. To talk to someone at our church would be exposing his sin. Exposing his sin would be a public humiliation for him. He has not exposed mine!
He says I can't trust my emotions. He says that I can't go on feelings. He says I can't get angry the blind rage way I do! That I am hurting the family. I am an alcoholic and have been sober for sometime now. This is an accomplishment considering my earthly trials. I know what addiction does, how it can rule your life. He says if I stumble and it puts the kids in danger he will leave me and take my kids. So If I forgive him again this time does that mean he will forgive should I stumble again? Somehow his sin does not put our kids in danger so therefore it is different. That's what he says!
This man is a very intelligent, very bible versed Christian. I know he has his side of the story. I know that I have mine.
Do I continue to forgive and How can I continue to trust? I do love him!
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I have been at a point to where I struggled with forgiveness and what it truly means when the sin keeps re-occurring. This is what I learnt. To forgive gave me freedom from anger, seeking revenge, demanding atonement and being his watchdog. I forgave what HAD happened, but it did not make me trust him. I trusted that God would not give me more than I could handle and backed off. When I quit trying to fix him, he started seeing himself more realisticly. I can truthfully say that I do trust him now, and believe it started with forgiveness. When you forgive, it will help get over the anger and wanting revenge, it will not erase the hurt or distrust. This is where having a perfect Heavenly Father comes in. He will comfort you, hold you and is 100% trustworthy.